Are You Lying to Me? The 411 on How to Catch a Liar

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It happens to most people. Every once in a while, during a conversation, you think, “Is this person lying to me?” You then spend unnecessary time going over their words in your head, thinking about whether or not what they said is true. However, sometimes detecting a liar is something that can be easily done in less than five minutes. All you need to look for are certain actions and movements a person does when they are lying. Body language says it all, and I’ve got your tips and tricks for spotting a liar.

  1. According to Dr. Gregory Jantz, in his article “6 Ways to Detect a Liar in Just Seconds,” more than 80 percent of lies go unnoticed. To prevent this from happening, start by asking neutral questions. Listen to how a person responds to questions about the weather, their hobbies, etc. Be attentive to their body language when they are telling the truth by watching their eye movements, stance, and hand positions. This will help you suspect any unusual actions for when they answer questions that are in the so-called “lie zone.” These questions are ones that aren’t rhetorical and require more in-depth responses.
  2. After the neutral questions are complete, begin observing a person’s facial expressions, responses, and body language as a person replies to personal questions. Surprise questions are another way to bring out lies. Most of the time a person pulls their body inward when lying and shrugs their shoulders. Also, they might become squirmy, jiggle their feet, and hide their hands to prevent fidgety fingers. Lastly, look for any hand gestures towards the face. These gestures, along with the other body movements listed above, are signs of distress and dishonesty. Research shows that President Bill Clinton touched his nose 88 times during his Lewinsky testimony.
  3. Watch for any facial changes and microexpressions, which are brief expressions that are used to conceal emotions. Sometimes a person’s face can exhibit a light shade of pink color as if they were flushed, or they may flare nostrils. Other ways to tell include biting their lips, blinking quickly or not at all, and perspiring. Shifts in body language and facial expressions occur during lying because there is an increase in the person’s brain activity.
  4. In the article, “An FBI Agent’s 8 Ways to Spot a Liar,” former FBI agent Justin Bariso states to listen more than you speak, meaning liars will talk more and in more complex sentences to stop the truth from getting out. He suggests being on alert if a person speaks faster, louder, and has a cracking in their voice. All are indications that the person is stressed. Repetitive coughing and clearing of the throat are clues of tension, as well.
  5. Bariso also notes that one should watch as someone says the word “no.” A person might be lying if they do one of these characteristics when answering “no”: looking in a different direction, hesitating, closing their eyes, stretching the word out, and replying in a singsong manner.
  6. Along with paying attention to the way a person speaks, pay attention to what they say. Some signs of a lie are: refusing to give details to short answers or providing too many details, speaking more formally, over-exaggerating or giving numerous compliments, and making contradictions to early parts of a conversation. Also, look for repeated phrases when talking. Sometimes a person will have prepared their answers for expected questions. When caught off-guard, they are more likely to show inconsistencies and stressful behavior.

Unfortunately, almost every person in the world lies at least once in their lives. However, some lies have more negative impacts than others. If you suspect someone is lying to you, use the tips above to decide fact from fiction.

xoxo,

Megan

Finding a Job at Any Age

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It’s a common task that almost everyone has to conquer at some point in their life: the task of finding a job. The reality of hunting for a job, going through numerous searches, and updating your resume and cover letters can be daunting. Then, add in your experience level, and unfortunately, your age, and things might get tricky. Some like to say that finding a job is a full-time job in itself. If you are in the market for a new job, here are some tips to help ease your stress and make your search a little easier, no matter your age.

In Your Twenties: 

You are fresh out of school and ready to take on the world with a new career. But you might come across a few problems, such as your age and experience level. To overcome this, start with polishing up your resume. You may not have much job experience at this stage in your life. To help fill your resume, list any jobs, internships, volunteer positions, honors, skills, and coursework. Be sure to tailor your resume to each position you are applying for and make it relevant to what qualifications the job requires. That way you are highlighting what you could bring to the job. Also, always proofread and correct any typos. Employers usually discard any resumes or cover letters with grammar and spelling mistakes. Lastly, continue learning new skills. The more abilities you have, the more hirable you’ll become. Part of finding a job is getting your foot in the door and networking, especially for the job searchers in their twenties. Bring your resume to various career and networking events held by your college or university, or in your community. Starting to build those professional relationships at the beginning of your hunt will help you secure a position when the time is right.

In Your Thirties and Forties: 

At this point in a person’s life, there are many reasons why someone would be looking for a new job. The first step in your job search in your thirties and forties is determining your strengths and in what career they would be beneficial. Think about what interests you, and what type of career would make you happy. Then, find professionals in that field and network. If you can, complete an internship or “job shadow” a leader in that position to get exposure to the company and job. Another option is to volunteer with a nonprofit in that career field. This opportunity allows you to network with employers, and vice versa, so they will get to know you, which can be helpful when a position in that organization or field opens up. An advantage of exploring a career field while applying for jobs gives you a chance to see if you need to further your education or get qualified for a certain occupation. There are many options available for continuing your studies while working, such as online classes offered through colleges and universities. One downfall to this part of the job search is the time an internship, networking, and job shadowing takes. Be sure to attend different events in your community where you’ll have the chance to network. Also, think about your family and friends. Do they have a professional connection that would help you? It never hurts to ask.

In Your Fifties and Sixties: 

It is a harsh reality that finding a job later in life can be tough and age discrimination does occur in the job search. Some employers view people in their fifties and sixties as being too expensive or not wanting to work or stay for long in an entry-level position. However, this is not true. People in this life stage can offer professionalism and usually have a strong work ethic earned through their maturity. A person 50 or older will automatically have more experience and knowledge, perhaps in a variety of fields. During a job search, this is a quality to highlight on your resume and in your cover letters. Emphasize your accomplishments and where you have been a leader in various occupations. However, you do need to explain in your cover letter any gaps in employment, or why you are applying for a job for which it may seem you are overqualified. Leave off years from your education and shorten your resume to focus on jobs held within the last ten years. Along with your abilities already acquired, show off your skills and interests in current news and events, and how to navigate technology. Try to stop thinking about your age as a burden in the job search, but instead, as an advantage you can bring to the job.

No matter what your age is, all of these tips can be useful in a job search. Be confident in your abilities, skills, and experience, and before you know it, you’ll find the perfect profession for you.

xoxo,

Megan

Why I Am Quitting Doing “More”

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All of my life, I have gone above and beyond on everything I did. Whether it was my job, school, being involved in a dozen different activities, or even reading, exercising, and writing, I was a perfectionist. There was never a limit to how much I would do or how long I would work. However, about a week ago I saw the picture above on Instagram and it made me think, especially #10: forget doing “more.”

Often times, I call myself a “recovering perfectionist.” Since seeing this image, I have tried to put tip #10 to use. Before when I hadn’t completed a task or gotten as far on something I feel as if I should have, I would have been hard on myself. The negative thoughts flooded my head and my self-esteem would fall. But, since I have starting using the “quit doing more: technique, I have discovered that I am happier and more relaxed with a higher self-esteem. It is just one of my many practices for self-care.

You see the key trick to “quit doing more” is to just do your best and take comfort in that. There is no guidebook or rules as to how much a person has to work, the number of activities a person has to be involved with, or how much time one has to spend on a task. Just do your best. There is no shame in not finishing a task in one sitting or not completing a chapter before going to bed. Listen to your mind and body and don’t over do it. Remember, in everything that you do, you are enough and important.

xoxo,

Megan

How to Keep a Prayer Journal

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In the movie The Help,one of the main characters, Aibileen, discusses writing down her prayers at one part in the film. It’s a good bet that Aibileen is talking about a prayer journal. This unique type of journal is a way many people communicate their prayers to God. It is a treasured notebook that allows people to reflect on what is on their hearts.

To keep a prayer journal, you don’t need to be a writer, you don’t need to write a page or more, and you don’t need a large amount of time to channel your thoughts. Keeping a prayer journal and writing down your prayers can be as simple as five words and five minutes per day. It can, however, be challenging to get started. But by following the tips below, it will be as easy as riding a bike.

  1. Use one journal and one journal only. It can be tempting to have multiple journals. Maybe you have one for only prayers and another for writing down your daily thoughts. A quick tip is combining the two into one. A prayer journal doesn’t have to be a specific notebook, just for prayers. It can include your daily reflections, life happenings, and prayers. This is a timesaver, as well. You aren’t switching between books and stopping and starting. Everything is in one place and there is easy access for you to spend more time in thought and prayer.
  2. Journal everything. Many times prayers are questions we ask God. Yet, some prayers can be thoughts, praises, and more. Channel your thanks, questions, dreams, and answered prayers. One of the things that makes journaling special is being able to look back and see what has happened in your life and how God has influenced it.
  3. Choose a time that works for you. It might be writing first thing in the morning or last thing before bed. You don’t have to spend an hour, penning a book. Five minutes works for some people and an hour works for others. This habit should be comfortable and not stressful. It is meant to be a relaxing, no pressure way to unwind. The amount of time you spend writing might change day to day, and that is okay. Also, think about how many times per day, week, month you want to journal your thoughts and prayers. Keeping a prayer journal shouldn’t be a burden; it should be a joy. Create a plan that works for you and stick with it, but be flexible for changing your schedule when needed.
  4. Find a place that is sacred to you. This spot may be inside or out, but it should be an enjoyable and cozy place that allows you to get in the mindset for time in prayer and journaling. Try to avoid distractions while in this area.
  5. Always start your time in prayer. God will lead your thoughts and prayers during your reflection. Ask Him for the peace to explain what is on your heart and mind. There is no right or wrong answer for what you should and shouldn’t write. Grammar and spelling can be thrown out the window. Don’t be afraid to be honest and give it all to God. Just remember to be specific with what you are praising, asking for, etc.
  6. Relate your thoughts to scripture. When you are writing, it is helpful to have access to a Bible. This gives you a chance to refer back to and add in scripture to your prayers, if needed. Also, you are able to read as you write.

Writing in a prayer journal can be a special habit to develop. It is a moment to channel what is going on in your world and ask God for guidance. It is a simple task that can make a big difference in your life.

xoxo,

Megan

A No-Spend Month? Budget, Please!

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It happens to most of us – overspending one month and not having enough money for the next. There are many ways to alter your budget to fix this problem. One of those solutions is having a no-spend month. That’s right, you don’t spend money on anything, but the necessities. You might be thinking, “How can I do that?” Continue reading to find out.

  • First, keep it simple. Try giving up only one luxury for the month. This tip is especially important for starting out. For example, try avoiding shopping for clothes, shoes, etc. for a whole month. This can be a drastic change, and it is best to start with what you are most comfortable with in terms of eliminating expenses. If you feel like giving up multiple expenses for the month, start with decreasing one at a time. Maybe it is the coffee you get on the way to work each morning, or maybe it is cooking dinner at home for a whole week, instead of eating out. Then, build up the amount of purchases you eliminate, until you aren’t spending money on unnecessary expenses by the end of the month. Lastly, you can also alter the time frame for how long you are doing this undertaking. Give it a go for a week. If that works, add on another week and so on. The main idea about the no-spend month is to truly keep it simple. Do what works for you and the plan won’t fail.
  • One option to help motivate you to stick with the no-spend month is to set a goal or give yourself a reason to save up for something. You might be wanting to add an X amount of money to your savings account for the future, or you might want to contribute a certain amount to your favorite cause or organization. This challenge can get tough. It is helpful to have a big picture in mind as to why you are doing this task.
  • Can it be a complete no-spend month? Yes and no. You need to still pay the bills and will have to do some planning ahead of time for the other expenses, such as groceries, gas, toiletries, etc. Think about this goal in terms of not spending money on things that can be considered “luxury” items. Do you really need a new pair of shoes this month? Do you need to see the latest movie in the theaters or can you wait until it is available to rent? There is no exact way to have a complete no-spend month because things happen and expenses come up. Just don’t go overboard on buying items that aren’t needed at that time or could wait another month or so for purchasing. For the needed expenses, try finding deals before spending the money.
  • Use what you have at home before going shopping. This is huge for groceries and toiletries. Remember that pantry full of products or extra shampoo you bought some time ago? Use those items first before purchasing more. Get creative and cook some fun meals for you and your family. You never know what will taste good together until you try it. As for the unused toiletries just sitting there? Think about the money you spent on purchasing those items. Not using the product is really wasted money. Another option is utilizing the items to make other items. For example, low on household cleaning products? Make a homemade version. Most DIY cleaners take ingredients such as vinegar, baking soda, lemon juice, and dish soap. Recipes can be found through a quick online search.
  • Stay at home, instead of going out. Date nights and family nights don’t need to be nights on the town. Try spending a day or night at home, watching your favorite movie, reading a classic book, cooking a meal together, playing a game outside, or doing absolutely nothing, but relaxing. There is no shame in spending a day or night at home. Plus, it puts more money in your pocket. If you feel the need to get out of the house, spend your time doing free things in your community, such as taking a walk in a park or volunteering.

A no-spend month can be tough. Create a plan and stick with it. Know exactly where you need to spend money and where you can save. At the end of the month, you might be surprised by how much money you saved.

xoxo,

Megan